I am amazed at how seriously we tend to take things. Not to say, the situation(s) that we are faced with as a Nation and a collective are remotely laughable. Be it the political tamasha; the rampant corruption; the rich-poor divide, oops gulf would be more like it; violence against women and even the tug-of-war between film makers to prove who amongst them is ‘Osacr-worthy’!!
And that in no way is an exhaustive account. There is literally an inexorable march of all things ugly and vile and I am in no way equipped to give a conclusive or well-informed commentary on ‘all that is wrong’.
However, ever since the horrific incident of Dec.16 last year, time and again I find myself wondering, reading and thus forming ever-evolving opinions and ideas about gender politics – more precisely, male-female politics – in India.
As much as I appreciate and encourage the insightful, if somewhat scathing and at times bias sentiments reflected by the urban/modern young woman, I cannot help but smirk at the ‘hurt’ young man, who claims he is becoming a victim of ‘generalizations’!
I read a very well-written article by a presumably young woman residing in Delhi, perhaps working or studying in the ‘rape Capital’. Given that I have stayed in the city for a year and have many a friend still dealing with the crudity all around every single day, I could very well relate to the agony the said article reflected.
Now, let me state something very clearly. I have stayed in 3 different places (including my hometown) in as many years. Call it hype, reality, bias, pre-conceived notion, whatsoever, Delhi plainly put, gives me the ‘creeps’ whenever I recall public conveyance, the streets, office elevator or even the malls!
Coming back to the article, amidst all the online debate that ensued, I was struck by the intense stupidity of one particular comment. A passionate young man shared a slice out of his own oh-so- scopophobic experiences. This undoubtedly good-looking hunk had been ‘purposely bumped into’ and ‘sensuously stared at’ by women in public (and he also moralistically mentions that he did his best to evade, with quite a bit of success). So far so good. I have no qualms in sympathizing with his plight, if I might call it so.
What made me guffaw with laughter was the following words; and I quote Mr.X here:
“I give a f**king sh*t to that (being ‘bumped’ into) and go my way…and don’t sit around blogging to arouse and lend fuel to a feminist, er, sorry, masculinist movement.”
Dude, hats off to you!!
How many times have you faced what you claim you have faced? And honestly, where you genuinely repulsed or did the incident(s) give an impetus to your ‘maleness’? And considering those women did purposely bump/grope/ogle you, the sentiments you espouse sound more like:
“Hey Chick, I am f**kable and I am proud of it” rather than “Woman I might be a desirable man, but I don’t want to be made uncomfortable with your stares.”
Get the difference, git?
Further, I doubt if these ‘bumpers’ would ever look at you and fondle their private parts as you walk and they make their cars crawl right beside you; if they would try to unbutton your jeans inside a crowded metro compartment; if they would hiss the choicest of cuss words n your ears as you walk down to office on a wintry day. Would they?
Understand the context before you scream your lungs out and make victims out of yourselves. Don’t women have male friends? Don’t they hang out with them? Is there no physicality in a man-woman relationship? Don’t women like compliments? Do they not know the difference between innocuous flirtatious stares and dirty X-ray vision? Do they not admire an absolute male stranger passing by? But the key word here is ‘intention’. What we face, on most occasions, for your information, is nothing but objectification. And don’t give us the ‘you provoke/ incite it’ sh*t.
Forget the ‘strange men’ on the street. For the record, there are very few men who can accept ‘rejection’ from a woman. It is not just the pervert on the street, the metro or the car. It is you, the medieval-minded egoistical man. I am not generalizing. ‘We’ are not generalizing. We are just talking of a wide-spread and oft-repeated phenomenon. You Mr. XYZ, on the street, in the pub, on the dance floor, in the office, in the mall, and everywhere else, might or might not be a part of it.
If you are not, we are only too happy to have you around and debate on our different views for dialectics is always better than uni-dimensional perspective. But if you equate your ‘bumping experiences’ with the ordeal we have to face almost always or try to impress that we are ‘over-reacting’, you definitely are, for I don’t have a better epithet, an MCP and an exponential one at that.
Tut tut………the poor victim that you are.