Happiness is a state of mind. I mean you are happy if you think you are. I can’t say I am unhappy right now.It is just there. You don’t have to go looking for it.
But melancholia? No matter how hard you try to deny it, the poignant beauty of agony, loss, pain, helplessness and at times fear is so captivating. It inspires you, scares you, haunts you, cuts through you…
You can not help the natural cycle of ‘happiness’ and ‘sadness’. What you can do, is to choose if you want to witness the latter. Happy moments are too many. You lose count after a point. They come and go.
But to be engulfed and wrapped around by negative sensibilities is rare. Death epitomises it more often than not. But it’s such a concrete and all-pervading occurrence. Death is. You are always ready for it one way or the other.
The rains pouring down against the fluorescence of the street lamp; the blood gushing out of the throat of a decapitated fowl and the consequent beating of the wings against the depths of a barrel; the emaciated urchin with an obnoxiously bloated tummy, the old vagabond strenuously chewing on hard bread…..there’s a strange sense of foreboding in these vignettes. It reminds you how stagnated life is. That we are all entangled in a giant cobweb from which we cannot extricate ourselves.
It’s fearful and ecstatic at the same time. It wields so much power on you that you don’t want it to be a part of your reality and yet it is….