Over Coffee

#Twitter Trending: Men are sexists! 

 Consequent conversation at a coffee shop…

M: That is trending? Women are drama queens…duh!

W: There…you go….’drama queen’…that is sexist to the core. How can u stereotype based on gender-bias?

M: Well, you started it…the very term ‘sexist’ is sexist towards us men…come to think of it!!

W: Why do you think the term came into being?

M (admiring the derriere of a rather proportionate female): Yes, am all eyes…uhh…sorry I mean ears.

W: There. I don’t even need to explain. Look at you. You look at a woman with one objective.

M: That is not true. Let’s face it. The female form is attractive. All men look at a passing female provided she’s not out of proportion, to put it euphemistically.

W: Seeped In sexism to the core. Why would you judge a woman by how she looks? Isn’t there more to her than 36-24-36? You disgust me!

M: See…drama queen. Calm down. Aren’t you being a hypocrite here? Do you not make a segregation between a ‘smart, lean, well-dressed hunk’ and a ‘fat, hairy, crazy bugger’? I mean we do it blatantly, you do it subtly but it’s all the same. And if you ask me, women are more snobbish regarding these things, than we can ever be. That way, we are at least honest!!

Woman is at a loss for words for a few seconds…

W: Okay, granted…but what about labeling us bad drivers, indecisive, emotional, etc. etc?

M: hmm…well that I suppose is a fair question. Don’t you think at times you run the risk of confusing ‘generalisations’ with ‘sexist remarks’ or ‘misogynistic’?

W: Well, then don’t generalize. Give us due credit when we are proving those generalizations to be skin-deep and pathetic!

M: Don’t we? Agreed, we don’t applaud every time a woman shows courage. Take for eg. the Tehelka fiasco. A woman was wronged by a much older man and yet she confided her trauma to three male colleagues who have been very supportive. Is that not a harbinger of changing perceptions and times?

Ironically, it is a woman, who is shielding the perpetrator, to say the least! The victim has not backed out, she’s fighting her case. There’s not an iota of ‘indecision’ there.

Bad drivers…well…isn’t it a general perception that men are untidy, are bad with babies, are spendthrifts, immature till they hit 30, etc. etc….aren’t these sexist remarks?

Emotions, again, there are certain things that are attributed to women and certain other things that are attributed to men. I don’t see, why must one get so worked up about it……it’s like finding faults for the heck of it.

W: You do make sense. Even then I would say sexism exists – occupational, gender-specific address, unequal salary structure and yes objectification of women in the media. Can you deny that?

M: No I don’t and I will not.

First. Occupational sexism; interesting! Agreed, there was a time, when women were considered unfit for certain professions. You have to accept one basic fact: physical strength matters as does anatomy. As I see it, time distorts perception. What perhaps started out as a means to shield the woman from certain hefty tasks, slowly turned into a means of suppressing her.

Hence, we do not find women who are scientists, painters and writers etc. from the Renaissance and much later. But then she did re-surface; particularly in Literature. And creativity is usually associated with women. That doesn’t mean there can’t be women who are engineers, astronauts, scientists or managers! Just this some occupations are readily associated with men, while some are (increasingly being) associated with women. You can take that as a compliment rather than a pejorative!

Consider this. A Bong is labeled as the ‘academic types’ as are Tamilians. Similarly Marwaris and Punjabis are associated with business. So would you label these remarks as ‘elitist/racist/ communal’ in nature?

Second. Gender-specific addresses. It’s convenient to say ‘he’ rather than ‘they’ which is gender-neutral. As to why not ‘she’ instead of ‘he’; it’s just something we have become used to. But these days everybody’s ‘an actor’, there are no actresses and it’s always ‘if s(he) was taken into consideration..’. So I think the case rests.

Third. Unequal salary-structure. Probably the only truly ‘Sexist practice’ which is prevalent even today. And that has to change. But I am not the one who can bring about that change.

As for objectification….aren’t you yourself responsible for that? Why do you agree to all those ads that portray you as someone ready to throw yourself at a man by the mere smell of his perfume, for the cream he uses, for the undies he wears, etc. etc…and yes those item numbers filled with sexual innuendoes. Now don’t tell me ‘it’s about personal choice’. Because we all know, those stupid ads and songs aren’t really about a woman’s choice….

W: Gosh…it’s like we make much ado about nothing! But we aren’t drama queens either!!

M( having found another sight to behold): No…indeed. Derriere queens more like it…

#Twitter Trending: Sometimes men make sense! :O


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