Misguided Anger of the ‘Modern Woman’

The above video indeed makes leches look like morons which they pretty much are. However much I like the message and the point which has been made emphatically and aptly, I can’t help but imagine a slightly different scenario, at least in three of the four situations depicted in the video:

Scene 1:

Girl in hot pants riding on the scooty stops beside a fancy bike- my layman view tells me a Royal Enfield or even a CBS would qualify as one- as against the dumpy  one in the video. Riding on it are any average, adorable character endeared by the likes of Ranbir Kapoor, Ranveer Singh, Imran Khan or even the ‘floppy’ Shahid Kapoor on screen. And what’s more…not one but two of them! Not the sleazy, uncouth, ‘telu’ or ‘champu’ duo of the original video.

In all probability the pair of heads will turn. Nods and  glances of approval will follow. A hint of a smile will play on the girl’s lips. Then it’s green light and both the admirer(s) and admiree go their own way.

Scene 2:

A group of girls in a cafeteria. One has a sexy tattoo on her bare midriff which effectively cries out ‘Dekho Magar Pyar Se’ a la Bijlee (the only other memorable thing about the film was the Pink Cow).

Instead of the toad-like white-collar employee (who if by a further stretch of imagination is a married man, must be having a simple, sari-clad, slightly bulky or too thin non-descript woman for a wife), there sits a hunk out of one of those Raymond/ Van Heusen/ Louis Phillipe Ads sipping on coffee (and not juice). He perhaps doesn’t even need the excuse of a laptop to acquire what in common parlance is known as ‘Nayan Sukh Prapti’.

What then?

Giggles, giggles and more giggles. He’s so handsome and hot. And he indeed looks at the fair, taut, midriff with the permanent black ink with a lot of ‘pyar’. And naturally he need not be shown the mirror.

Scene 3:

A rather creepy fellow shamelessly staring at a beautiful Burqa-clad woman. Keep the woman, replace the ‘perv’ with – now this is a bit difficult given the action takes place in a local train – ummm well, let’s just say a college kid or a young professional?? That should be it.

The woman would not feel intimidated or uncomfortable. Maybe she’d even smile back and the two might start a conversation. Well…maybe that’s taking it too far. But possible nonetheless.

The one scenario which remains much the same and in bad taste, is that of the sleeping girl in the bus, whose partially visible cleavage is being ogled at.

So the men in the original video should perhaps learn a lesson in suavity and ‘how it is done’. They must be told the difference between ‘the art of flirting vs. starved ogling’.

It should not matter if they live in slums or cramped basements, has hardly had any proper education. It should not matter if they see drunk fathers beating helpless Mothers every night. It should not matter that they perhaps see consensual or not-so-consensual sexual activities every single day from an early age. It should not matter that to them the girls/women in the video are the forbidden apples from the Garden of Eden.

They must aspire to acquire the charm, skills and groomed looks of the score-keeping Ranbir Kapoor in the Axe ads, the men in the corporate clothing ads, the college kids in the KFC/McD ads and of course the uber cool heroes of Bollywood. And in case of the toad in the cafeteria, he should just be a little less obvious!

Only then…shall they be given the license to ogle, oh sorry, admire.

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