So I am a ‘young, working, independent woman’ once more. Just not away from home; and that has its perks as well as downsides. Two sides to every story. *sigh*
It’s been two years since I left my last job (which I kind of regret and don’t, at the same time). I had ideas – some my own, some injected by others, some delusions and illusions of a young girl – and I thought they were full proof and sensible. How naïve can one be!
I have this pagemark, a favourite. It must be lying in some nook of my meticulously arranged book shelf. It has one of the most widely quoted Lennon songs on it. If only I had embraced those words in deeds rather than merely parroting the line to myself (and others):
“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”
Oh well, better late than never. I swear by that line now.
But then I can’t really say that I have wasted the last two years entirely. Because I had so much time to reflect and introspect, I do believe I have become a little more humane, a little more mature and little less opinionated. In short, life was probably not ‘happening’ but it definitely was ‘teaching’ me very important lessons.
Here are a few things I learnt (and unlearnt):
- People might be nice and harbor the best of intentions for you, but they might not be giving you good advice. Lesson learnt: Have a filter in your system. Taste the brew and leave the tea leaves out!
- Be objective but not necessarily tolerant. It is my belief that we often confuse ‘being non-judgmental’ with ‘being tolerant’. Well, if you love being taken for granted, go ahead and be tolerant – yeah extend the other cheek and stuff – but I would rather be a realist. This is the 21st century for Christ’s sake!
- You might know someone for eons and you might have had some of the best times of your life with him and/or her (and no, I am not particularly pointing to a partner). Doesn’t mean, that is how it will be forever. So let go when you have to. No point crying over what ‘was’. You will always have a ‘is’ and ‘will be’.
- You have friends. They might not always understand your moods, priorities or outlook. You might not even remotely relate to them more often than not. But that’s okay. In the long run, you will realize that you are lucky to have good people around you, whether you relate to them or not.
- The less prejudiced you are the better. How many times have you not smiled at that timid-looking woman in the elevator deliberately because she is such a ‘behenji’? How many times have you dismissed that pretty girl in office as an airhead? How many times have you avoided that geeky guy because you thought he was either a ‘chep’ or a bore? Trust me; you might be missing out on the opportunity to get to know some of the most interesting people because you are not looking beyond appearances. The behenji might be a Pink Floyd fan for all you know. The pretty girl could do arithmetic within the blink of an eye and the geeky guy might make your stomach ache with laughter. Stop restricting yourself!
- Beware of phonies! You will encounter them by the scores in all forms, shapes, sizes and genders. Initially, it will all be hunky-dory. They have this uncanny ability to make you empathise and sympathise before you realize what is going on. Interact with them for a prolonged period and you would want to be a Martian. Three adjectives will haunt you time and again: boring, mean and shallow. You might add variations such as jealous, bitchy and fake. Sanity Advisory: Stay away.
- Okay, this one’s very important for those who like books, music, films and other ‘intellectual’ activities. There are more pseudo-intellectuals than there are actual ones. Learn to distinguish between the two lots. It might not harm you to know pseudos coz they are entertaining (without intending to be so) but then haven’t you been told about the ‘company equation’?
Hmm… well, that’s it for now. Now that I am in the ‘happening’ phase, let’s see how things go.